|Hannibal Lecter:||*frames Jack Crawford*|
|Jack Crawford:||*arrests self*|
|Jack Crawford:||How could I have missed it…|
I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
In 1937 two women caused a car accident by wearing shorts in public for the first time
In 1937 a careless driver caused an accident when he took his eyes off the road to ogle 2 women wearing shorts in public for the first time.
fucking thank you
does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things
sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder
Sleepy is before the nap, tired is after waking up